Rock
Scissors
Fuck
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
