Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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