I saw his package. It spoke to me.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
