soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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