Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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