dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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