I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
