ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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