Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
God gave him joint rollers for hands
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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