drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
