i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
