**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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