Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
