Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
