Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Randomize
