Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize