i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
