I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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