He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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