Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
