hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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