OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
