i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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