My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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