I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
