God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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