laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
