I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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