Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
