Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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