This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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