You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
