I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
