I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
it was like eating out sand paper
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize