I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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