I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So. Much. Porn.
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