How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
