Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
