Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
