This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
