I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Less talking, more tequila
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
