You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
this is an emotional support booty call
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
