I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
false alarm. still invincible.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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