She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
