it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
