if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Your cock deserves a montage
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
