I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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