ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?

  (1-716): View more from New York

  I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her

  (716): View more from New York

  Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild

  Fav 3 1037 1027

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version

  Fav 32 2571 4926

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (805): View more from California

  woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."

  Fav 11 4823 1293

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  How was the bike ride?

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.

  Fav 21 9074 1568

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter

  Fav 5 3290 1351

  share tweet
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong

  Fav 10 1697 971

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  sorry

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  why?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?

  Fav 2 2717 1007

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?

  Fav 9 898 1083

  share tweet
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday

  Fav 3 538 553

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers

  Fav 2 836 587

  share tweet
  

• (574): View more from Indiana

  Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.

  Fav 0 258 329

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from

  Fav 3 301 367

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.

  Fav 1 269 258

  share tweet
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.

  Fav 0 63 6

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (801): View more from Utah

  She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.

  Fav 0 63 22

  share tweet
  

Randomize