No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
