i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
