you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
