you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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