She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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