If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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