6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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