I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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