I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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