She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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