So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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