Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
