i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
