You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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