worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
