i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
